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Because this story MUST be preserved and remembered for all time...

(Scene opens)

Emily and Sydney are playing quietly with blocks. 

Grandma Blackham comes over and sits by them on the floor, causing a small gap to form between the top of her pants and the bottom of her shirt.)

Two year old Sydney, concerned, stands up and shuffles over to Grandma Blackham.

Without reservation, she pulls back Grandma's pants and peers inside. 

"Poopy??"

(Blackout. End scene.)

Parasites. They happen.

Kirby served his mission for the LDS church in the good ol' state of Mississippi, so he didn't have any issues with parasites, like those serving on foreign soil often encounter. 

I haven't been to South America lately, but I've been suffering some typical symptoms of parasitism.

Extreme Hunger.

Weight gain.

Exhaustion.

Nausea.
Digestive struggles.

Emotional instability.

I went to the doctor to get a diagnosis, and it turns out I have managed to contract a parasite. 

The bad news is that it's going to take another couple of months to purge the parasite from my system.

The good news is that he's a pretty cute parasite. 

Don't-cha Think!?

What am I going to do with a BOY!?

P.S. Don't EVER--under any circumstance--google for images of parasites when pregnant. Or maybe ever.
Mmmm-K?